{SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.}

Monday, October 08, 2007

title:{BLUE}

i think this is gonna be one of my most emotional post ive written so far.. if you dont like it, then get out this instant. like i'd mentioned, this is MY BLOG, MY SAYINGS.

a post dedicated to my dearest nephew i love most, Muhammad Qais Tufail Bin Kamaruddin.

he has yet to grow teeth, barely even know how to crawl, and still cries when he wants milk. yesterday morning, his mum, aka my most wonder cousin in the whole wide world, came over to our my place. she told my mum that his grandmother (her mother-in-law) was sick and she wanted to bring him along to see his grandmother. my mum understood and allowed her to bring him along. and there i regretted. regretted that i didnt plant him my one last kiss on his forehead before he left. she told my mum that she will come back in the afternoon to return him. but she didnt came back. he's gone..

we looked after him for a month. we became attached to him, especially with his cute smile and giggles whenever we played with him. there was this particular time.. it was still very early in the morning. i was sound asleep in my room when suddenly i felt something warm on my stomach. i opened my eyes to see muhammad looking at me straight in the eye. he was lying on me, smiling innocently, without even making a single noise when my dad purposely put him on top of me to disrupt my beauty sleep. i can still feel his warmth, even now when the weather is cold. sometimes when i studied late at night, usually at around 2am, he will cry for milk. since i had not mastered in making milk for him, kakak went to do it while i accompanied him, carrying and hushing him. he's cries still linger around my ears. and whats more, he turns 5 months today..

today's break-fast was gloomy. me and kakak couldnt refrain ourselves form crying. abah, mama and jaja had tears forming in their eyes. that was because, we heard the bitter truth. earlier today, abah and mama went out to look for my cousin and muhammad. they then decided to visit my cousin's mother-in-law to get the whole story and truth about my cousin and her baby. all this while, she had been telling us that her mother-in-law and her husband did not look after the baby well. they didnt feed him properly and did not shower him with care and love. but the truth is, muhammad was and will always be their everything. he's father love him so much. he even quitted his job just to go look for my cousin. little did we know that muhammad was once hospitalised because he suffered form bronchitis (chronic or acute inflammation of the mucous membrane of the bronchial tubes). he was in the hospital for two whole weeks and none of OUR family members visited him. that was because we had no idea he was admitted!! none of us knew! there are definitely more to it which made my whole family emotional tonight. its now even hard for me to admit she's my cousin..

what we ALL are ~~afraid~~, no, not afraid, feared now is that things will happen all over again. we dont want the exact same thing to happen to him, like what happened to his brother Danish. we love him too much to let his mum do that to him. no.. no..

to my cousin,
kak, he is your son! dont you love him? if you do, why do this to him? muhammad is still so young. innocent. he still dont know anything. he is comfortable staying with his grandmother and father. he is comfortable staying with us. why do you have to take away his comfort from him? its obvious that you dont love him at all, do you? why must you be so heartless? we dont care if you want to do anything you want, but why must you get muhammad involve? WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU HUH?? if you really love and care about your son, bring him back. BRING HIM BACK, KAK!! :'( dont do anything to him! please.. we all love him so much..

muhammad, mak usu miss you terribly. i know mak long and mak nga will surely feel the same way too. i know that i'll get irritated by your cries sometimes but we all love you sayang.. we all wonder about how you eat, where you sleep. the weather is pretty bad this few days.. all we can do now is pray to God that you'll be safe from any harm. i love you so much muhammad..

9:33 pm;